SILENCE #poem

It’s been a long time since I wrote a poem. This is one I started more than a year ago when I was having a difficult time writing. I’d forgotten about it until I perused the many drafts on my blog which have yet to be published.

The poem says a lot for how I was feeling and how I continue to feel at times. I never published it, probably because I wanted it to be perfect before I did.

Today, I could not feel more imperfect. I don’t say this to solicit sympathy. It’s simply a statement of fact that some days will be less rosy than others.

Even if the poem goes unread, it will no longer just be silent words in my head.

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Silence

Silent

I’ve been silent for so long

So silent I’ve lost my own voice

So silent I don’t know what I sound like anymore

When I speak, I gauge another’s reaction to my voice

I see confusion where I once saw recognition

I sense disagreement where there was once agreement

I feel discomfort in the space between us

Where a pillowy air of comfort used to be

How did I get here?

I’ve been too quiet

For too long

It’s time to hear my voice again

Time to speak and express

It’s no longer important how I came to be here

It’s only important where I go from here

 

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16 Comments

Filed under Short Stories & Poetry

16 responses to “SILENCE #poem

  1. raymondboltonauthor

    Sometimes it’s wise to alert friends to your difficulties. Know that you’re not alone. Although we’re only distant friends, know that I welcome any and all communication from you, public or private. I’ll be an ear when you need one. I’ll offer advice only when you request it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • HI Raymond, thank you for your kind comment. I’m not much for public pronouncements of hardship, but I do have friends I talk with. As I said, this poem was started over a year ago when things were much worse. I’m on the mend, did not even want to post it, but then thought: “What the hell?” I joke about being perfect, but it’s my nature to find that sweet spot to publish anything, which makes for times when publishing is not going to happen. It’s a learning experience.
      Thank you for your offer. Even with the distance, I know you are a sweetheart.
      eden
      xox

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love the lines
    “So silent I don’t know what I sound like anymore
    When I speak, I gauge another’s reaction to my voice”

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem with us, Eden.
    Hope the days ahead are a little rosier – on my tough days, I ask myself before going to bed, what was my favourite moment of the day? Even if it’s just a little moment, it allows me to fall asleep with optimism and, sometimes even a smile 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Letizia, thank you. Each day is a gift, regardless of how tough it might be. Having you as a friend is definitely one of the things I’m grateful for. I appreciate your kind comment and words of encouragement. ❤

    Like

  4. suenador

    Thank you for being brave and vulnerable in sharing your “silence,” Eden. I know how you hold yourself to such a high standard that it’s probably not surprising that you feel, relatively speaking, that you had difficulty getting the words out right – and what they really mean to you. I’m glad you keep pushing through because you do have such a strong and insightful voice. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Powerful and poignant, Eden. I hope things are better now.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That’s a nice poem. Sometimes we just have to believe in ourselves and that we can overcome the challenges life throws at us.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. John Dolan

    Beautiful, sad, autumnal. Virtual silent hugs being transmitted to you over the ether. Hugs don’t need words, right? Hugs have a voice all of their own.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes, it is time. Throw off convention and proper grammar, just write from deep in the well

    Liked by 1 person

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