In reading my friend, Tim Smith’s interview, I discovered some juicy titbits (You read that right, titbits, I say). He’s usually one of those quiet men who weaves in and out of social networks, but when he speaks, I want to know about it.
And so will you.
He’s funny, intelligent, and a little depraved, but that’s what makes him special.
Please welcome fellow author from the Allegories of the Tarot anthology, Timothy Bryant Smith, and be prepared to laugh your tits off.
Who is Mr. Smith?
Cruising through the 4th decade of his life, Timothy Bryant Smith resides in a small town in North Carolina with his wife Shannon and two dogs, Kona & Pepperoni.
Raised in both Fairbanks, Alaska and Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, Timothy has lived and traveled around the United States looking for new questions to ask from the answers he uncovers each day.
His first published short story, “Transformation” is included in the anthology, Allegories of the Tarot released in the fall of 2013, and he is actively working on his first novel as well as other projects.
Inside Timothy’s Mind
[eden] Welcome Tim! I’m so happy to finally have you here all to myself! Please tell the readers what turns you on creatively.
[Tim] I like inventive confrontation which uses subversive art to force institutional change. If it’s a clever “go fuck yourself” aimed square in the eye of an oppressive culture or institution then I am all about that shit. Some of my greatest influences, creatively anyway, were considered subversive or obscene for doing nothing more than pointing out that—as both a culture and individuals—we were capable of doing more (or not doing enough). That it was time to move on and let go of old thinking and accept the new thought, the unspoken, and the taboo. These are my heroes. And they’re not just artists; they’re philosophers, scientists, religious figures, politicians, activists… they’re basically anyone who spits in the face of what society’s institutions say is “acceptable” or “normal”. That really gets my juices flowing. Fuck acceptable and the people who cling so desperately to it. Offend and be offended! I applaud any person who puts it all out there and says to these groups (and their hypocritical, self-serving definitions of what is acceptable) to go suck a big fat cock.
The challenge, unfortunately, is this requires a person not only capable of the complete abandonment of inhibition and enormous personal courage, but they must also be genuinely brilliant in their art and the truth their art expresses. Yes, there is power in the profane. Yes, there is enlightenment in the creative defiance of what society deems acceptable. But for me, it must be original and elegant in its confrontation; presented with acumen, wrapped in the seemingly vulgar, and using a medium that no one thought could ever be used as a medium. Being shocking for the sake of being shocking, to entice attention, to titillate money out of the pockets of the unimaginative, etc. doesn’t really do it for me—any passé opportunist can do that. Unfortunately, this is exactly what passes as art these days. That’s the difference between, say, classic rock and pop rock. Classic rock endures because of its impact on the generation that spawned it and the institutions upon which it effected change, whereas pop (popular) rock is simply what sells. The same is true for nearly every medium, from the written word to even news media. I would rather create art that endures than a novelty which sells. And if I am going to create enduring art, I would rather it endures because it redefined and radicalized what people simply accepted rather than questioned.
[eden] Fabulous rant Tim, you had me at “…go suck a big fat cock.” I’m almost afraid to ask my next question 😉
Do you have a definition for perfect happiness? TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THE WOMEN! Ok, maybe that is over stating it a bit (and quite possibly plagiarism). I prefer to think of perfect happiness as that moment when everything in my mind synchs up with what is going on in the world around me. It’s that moment when I consciously make a connection between who I am and what I know the world to be at that particular moment. Sometimes it is a subtle nudge, other times it is a, “Holy shit, that’s awesome!” kinda thing, but nearly every time I am unsure if it is a coincidence or providence. It may be sitting in frustration trying to solve the last clue to a crossword puzzle asking for a four-letter word for clever that ends in a “y”, then looking up at the television to see Wile E. Coyote chasing the Road Runner on the television screen. Other times, it’s a stolen moment on the way to work when I am thinking of my wife’s eyes, then the song we danced to on our wedding day is the next song to start playing on the radio. I love it when that happens. It makes me feel like my life is on course and executing exactly as the Universe needs it to be. I am a big subscriber to the concepts of both synchronicity and pantheism.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Tough one. I couldn’t tell you. My staff would probably tell you it’s, “Communicate!”. I say that one a lot at the restaurant. I am a firm believer in constant communication with the people you are trying to accomplish something with—even to the point of being annoying or repetitive. Of course, my wife would probably tell you it’s, “It’s called a fucking turn indicator you fucking cocktard!” I use that one a lot, too.
[eden] Ha! Bad drivers where you come from?
What quality do you most admire in a man? Hard to come up with just one quality. I would say a healthy mixture of observant humor, dedication, humility, passion, philanthropy, confidence, sportsmanship, jocularity, and a lovely singing voice.
And in a woman? Again, can’t narrow it down to a single quality. I’d have to say a mixture of compassion, patience, willingness, wonderment, commitment, and self-assuredness. Oh! And tits. I love tits. Yeah. Forget all that other stuff. I am going to go with tits on this one. Small, big, round, flat… I don’t really care. I like tits. Did I say that I like tits? …tits. Tits, titties, breasts, dirty pillows, nipple-mounted globular fun bags, cleavage canyons, bulbous boobies, mammary mountains, shoulder boulders. Tits.
[eden] Tim, I sense some hesitation from you … are you SURE about tits?
Do you have any regrets? Other than my answer to the previous question, I’d probably say my lack of formal education. I never graduated high school or sought higher education. I have never known the experience of achieving accreditation or attaining a degree. I don’t really need it, I know that now, but it’s always bothered me that I never tried. I suppose I could, at some point in my middle or old age be that guy that goes back to school for the G.E.D. or is awarded an honorary degree for some amazing achievement in my life, but I regret never having the patience in my youth to see my education through to institutional recognition.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I am rather emotionally, uh… explosive—those who know me would say spectacularly so. I don’t really censor myself well and I have a terrible time reeling it in when I need to let it out. And not just the bad emotions, the good ones as well. I love and hate equally, deeply, and with volatile intent. I over-commit myself and can’t pull back when I need to blow. What makes this worse is I know I am doing it as it happens. Sometimes, I just get tired of holding it in and once I let loose I have no desire or ability to hold back. I will make you uncomfortable when expressing my love for you and scare the shit out of you when I am upset with you.
What is your greatest fear? Spiders. No doubt about it. Spiders. No seriously… goddamn godless evil bloodsucking antichrist-loving spiders.
[eden] Pussy, heh. And because I love spiders, here’s an itsy bitsy one for your dreams.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? A carpenter. Math, visualization, creativity, engineering, patience, and the benefit of experience—these are a few of my favorite things. I think carpentry encapsulates the best of the left and right brained professions. I guess I like the idea of using art and science to create something that is utilitarian.
[eden] I love carpentry too, something about working with tools and wood that appeals to me.
What do you consider your greatest achievement? Marrying my best friend. My wife is everything to me. I know that may sound cliché to some, but to me I could not be more sincere or honest. Shannon gave me a reason to believe in who I am and what I am capable of accomplishing. In turn, I hope that I have provided her with a trusted voice that assures her of who she is and supports her in what she has to offer this world. She is a remarkable woman who is passionate and protective towards me… sometimes even to her detriment. She possesses a ferocious heart, an infallible belief in what I am capable of accomplishing, and an insatiable desire for my penis… which is awesome by the way (her insatiable desire, not my penis, for those of you still reading). Mostly, she keeps me honest and allows me to do the same for her. There is forgiveness—despite our occasional, heinous fights. There is trust—regardless of how batshit crazy a thing I ask of her to accommodate. But most importantly, there is respect for who WE are—together as Timothy and Shannon—that supersedes anything we may be or want separately from one another.
[eden] Shannon is a doll, and this is a beautiful answer.
What is the trait you most deplore in others? I absolutely cannot abide people who demean or knowingly deprive those who serve others. It doesn’t matter if it’s teachers, food servers, soldiers, civil servants, retail workers, nurses, relief workers, etc.. Seriously… tip 20 % people. Be conscious and courteous towards those who work to make your life better, safer, cleaner, healthier, more informed, and who go the extra mile to help you find what you’re looking for. It’s what separates us from the animals… or at the very least Europeans.
[eden] Uh oh, now you’ve done it, all my European friends are going to send spiders to you in the mail.
Lightning Round … Ready, set, go!
Which living person do you most admire? Blergh. This is a impossible question to answer. Pass…
What is your greatest extravagance? Beer. I love beer almost as much as I love tits.
[eden] Quel surprise.
If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? At this moment in my life, I would have to say tits.
[eden] Tim, you need help.
What is one thing you want to do before you die? Learn to speak a second language, restore my Dodge Ram Truck to its former glory, and to complete my collection of vintage Kenner Star Wars action figures and playsets.
Who is your favorite writer/musician/film director? I have several influences across many mediums and philosophies. Walt Whitman, Charles Darwin, Howard Zinn, Seth MacFarlane, Larry Flynt, Galileo, Howard Stern, Joseph Campbell, Martin Scorsese, George Carlin, Immanuel Kant, Andres Serrano, Edna St. Vincent Millay, George Romero, Stephen King, Ben Franklin, Malcolm X, Carl Jung, Asa Akira, Christ, Andy Kaufman, John Lennon among many others.
What are some of your favorite curse words? I like to use twat as both a prefix and suffix with many, many, many other words.
What is your motto? Be honest, do your best, and clean up after yourself.
[eden] Hahaha! I may have wet myself reading your interview. You’re a crazy man, Tim. Wonderful to have my name with yours in the same book and loved your story, “Transformation.”
Readers, please say “hi” to Tim, especially if you have … you know, tits.
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Connect to Timothy