Dude, Grow a Pair. Don’t Let Your Woman Pluck Your Nose Hair

I rarely take public transit any more since I work from home, but it’s uncanny that whenever I do, I see something bizarre.

Let me preface this post by saying I’m not a supporter of public grooming. I think it’s rude to brush your hair, put on make-up, or floss your teeth in front of perfect strangers, and yet, I’ve seen all of this. I usually look away, but last week I saw something that riveted me to the scene. Why? Because I couldn’t believe my eyes.

A thirty-something couple sat across from me in a subway car having a conversation. There was nothing remarkable about either one of them. Out of nowhere, I noticed the woman’s expression change as she stared at her boyfriend’s/husband’s face—she grimaced. I suspected he had said something inappropriate, and she was showing her disgust … but no. She raised her hand almost as if to slap him, but instead, she grabbed some invisible strand of hair hanging from inside his nose and tugged on it—hard!

The worst thing was—he let her do it.

Although he flinched and his head jerked back each time, he allowed her to pull at his nose hair with her bare hand. It was obvious she was determined to yank out that nasty strand at any cost. Five times, count them, FIVE TIMES she did this and FIVE TIMES he let her until she finally plucked it out, at which point, he let out a feeble “Ouch.” She then held the hair in front of him and showed him how long it was, dropped it on the floor, and chided him. For what? For having nose hairs?

I don’t know about you, but nobody, unless that person wants a punch in the face, gets anywhere close to plucking hair from my body unless he has my explicit permission to do so.

What struck me most was why this man allowed it to happen to him. Sure, he has an intimate relationship with this woman. You do many things with your significant other you wouldn’t do with anyone else. Yes, men are more into grooming nowadays—waxing, man-scaping, facial beauty products.

I get it.

But … dude … it’s still your body, your choice when you want to tug, pull, and pluck. I bet my life your girlfriend/wife would never allow you to yank hair from her head, let alone from inside her nostril. And certainly not in public!

What I really wanted to say to this guy was “Buddy, don’t let anyone do that to you. Have some pride for god’s sake. And while you’re at it—grow a pair. Passively allowing a woman to groom you in public is not only disgusting, it’s just not cool. Grow those balls before she sees them as just another hairy instrument to pluck.”

eden

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40 Comments

Filed under Revelations & Humor

40 responses to “Dude, Grow a Pair. Don’t Let Your Woman Pluck Your Nose Hair

  1. It’s called dignity, dude…. look it up.

    He’s whipped, and not in the good way.

    Like

    • William,
      No kidding! I’m so glad you agree. I know many men who allow their wives/girlfriends to dictate their behaviour, but it’s so wrong to be a puppet in a relationship. I wanted to get up and slap them both.

      eden

      Like

  2. LOL! This guy has issues. Thanks for a good laugh, Eden. 😀

    Rob
    vV””Vv

    Like

  3. Where’s the ‘Like’ button on your blog, Eden? And was there a round of applause on the coach, when she finally tugged it out or just a round of groans?

    I sort of agree with Sharky there, but I’m thinking she’s probably the one with the issues, OCD issues, or at least a poor sense of place and time! And maybe, just maybe she’d already taken his balls, chewed them up and spat them out (or swallowed, who knows) and was inclined to domestic abuse, but now I think my imagination has gone too far :-/.

    Only you could observe this little incident so acerbically; this is a gem, Eden, honestly. I bet this little vignette of life will find its way into one of your stories somewhere, sometime on the not too distant future…

    Like

    • John! I love when you visit me for my wacky posts. No applause, no groans, just dismay I think.

      The LIKE button is underneath the SHARE buttons immediately after the article. I agree the woman has issues, is probably a bully, lacking something for sure, but it bothered me more to see the poor, emasculated schmuck just sit there and do nothing–absolutely nothing. Even when he ‘cried’ out at the end, he was wimpy, as if he was the one who did something wrong.

      As for him making an appearance in any of my stories, let’s put it this way, John … this guy will NEVER be a main character in an erotic story. My men never compromise their manhood to appease a woman, and strong women would never want them to.

      Lovely to see you here,

      xox
      eden

      Like

  4. Richard Wiseman

    Hmmm. That’s a sexual dynamic in itself. There are women turned on by mothering their sexual partners, and the nose hair thing was like the spit wipe tissue on a child’s face, a mother thing, as far as I could tell from your anecdote. Secondly there are men who want to be dominated, mothered by their sexual partners. These two were obviously a match. One imagines that their emotional interdependence as far as the psychological need for one to dominate and one to be dominated is played out in their sexual drama. It takes all sorts. ‘Venus In Furs’ explored that dynamic a little I think. I think that the child ego state, if damaged yields unusual sexual and emotional relationship dynamics. It sounds disgusting to watch though. Mind you if you had voiced your opinion to ‘be a man’ to this fellow, after it happened, you may have been surprised that it would probably be the man and not the woman who told you where to go, instead of the quiet shame from him and anger from her; these men defend their ‘mommas’ with zeal. Great post and interesting cameo. You can see it made me think.

    Like

    • Richard! So lovely to see you here, and thanks for such an incisive comment.

      I think there is merit to what you’re saying. Maybe he has a mommy complex, and she likes the role of caretaker so it’s a mutually beneficial relationship. I attributed nothing of a sexual nature to her treatment of him. There wasn’t even affection. A mother who wipes the nose of her child does it lovingly because the child is too young to know any better. It’s not done with disdain and the child is not scolded for having a runny nose.

      I viewed this woman’s actions more as bullying, or perhaps she has trichotillomania by proxy. It was as if she said “How dare you have such a long nose hair? Out, damned hair, out I say!”

      The fact is this able-bodied man can obviously groom himself on his own time, according to his own pain tolerance, in the privacy of his home. His passivity bothered me more than anything.

      I make no judgment on FemDom relationships, and in my books, it’s as viable a preference as the missionary position. There are probably as many sexual preferences as there are people, and so there should be. It’s fantastic to have a healthy fantasy life.

      I suppose what I observed triggered something about the sexes I don’t think is healthy, that perhaps the pendulum has swung too far the other way. I cannot imagine any woman who would allow a man to pull hair from her body in public. She would scream about her ‘right’ to be treated properly, fairly, equally. Women have gained a lot of power by fighting for these rights. In the process, perhaps it’s made some men wary of their own role in relationships.

      At the end of all this, I just hate seeing a man’s power diminished by anyone – and for whatever reason, it irks me more when it’s at the hands of a woman.

      Thanks again for your thoughts,

      eden

      Like

  5. Pingback: Lorca’s Week in Review (Of a sucky week) « Lorca Damon

  6. So wrong in every possible way. Do people not remember where they are?

    Like

    • Savannah, you’re the first woman to comment here! Thank you. I think I’ve scared the women off. People do the weirdest things in public. One time I saw a woman clipping her fingernails and one flew and hit another passenger in the face who was sitting in front of her. The woman was so clueless that she didn’t even notice.

      Few things surprise me anymore, but I must say pulling hair from someone else’s nose tops the list.

      eden

      Like

  7. hah! nutty. also? don’t clip your nails in public. eewwwwww.
    and also? that woman must be an Amazon if she was able to pull out a nose hair with her FINGERS. doesn’t it ordinarily take a tweezer or other kind of machinery to get those hairs out? yikes.

    Like

    • Hi Marian,
      The funny thing was this woman was pretty average in size, but she must’ve had nimble strong fingers. I always thought nose hairs were deeply rooted. Maybe that’s why it took her 5 tries!

      eden

      Like

  8. HAHAHA! OMG the sad part is I’ve been tempted. But never done it. I swear I never will LOL XOXO

    Like

  9. Okay, first of all, plucking anything out of the nose in public is just nasty. I don’t care if it’s a hair or a booger.

    Second, I’m not connecting pulling a nose hair out of your partner to anything sexual. Maybe I’m a prude and missing out. But really, pulling out a nose hair in public OR in private is not flaming up my little rosebud, if you catch my drift.

    Third, I have to agree with you, Eden. If the roles were reversed and my boo tried to pull a hair out of me without my permission in public OR in private, he’d lose both testicles in one swipe. And a guy who sits still for that kind of rude, obnoxious behavior in public, especially, has evidently lost his testicles and most definitely his attractiveness to me. It’s about self-respect.

    That is all.

    xoxoxo

    Like

    • Oh my lord, Netta. Leave it to you to put things in clearcut perspective. I hear you. Some things need to be done in the privacy of one’s own washroom.

      Nose hairs do not flame my rosebud either!

      eden

      Like

  10. I’m sure the guy wanted to say something, but in the back of his mind he was thinking, “if I rock the boat now, it’ll be a LONG time coming before I get laid again.” And you know a woman who’ll pluck a man’s nose hair in public then scold him about it WILL withhold sex.

    Like

    • Hi Reena! I guess I just don’t think that way, but you may have a point.

      Still … to be a doormat to get sex? Is it attractive for a woman to have some guy be a puppet? It certainly isn’t to me.

      I can’t even imagine what kind of a lover he would be.

      eden

      Like

      • I think some women go for men who like to be degraded and vice versa. Likewise, some men like to be walked all over, and the opposite is also true. haha I know you’ve seen couples and asked yourself, “Why in the heck does she/he put up with him/her!?”

        Now you’ve got me wondering what kind a lover a doormat of a man would be. 🙂 If I weren’t already married, I’d add a doormat to my list of men to try out. I wonder where I’d find one. I don’t want to create my own doormat. That’d irritate me to no end. I want my doormat readymade.

        Like

  11. Casey Sheridan

    OMG, Eden! So gross! I wasn’t sure if I should laugh, cry, punch the woman, or kick the guy.

    I find public grooming gross as well. Putting on a bit of lipstick, or lip gloss, powdering your nose (do any women powder their nose anymore?) is okay. I don’t necessarily have a problem with someone running their fingers through their hair (to a point). I like to wear long dangle earrings and I have long hair, so sometimes my hair gets a bit tangled in my earrings so fingers through the hair is a little necessary, but I don’t do it a lot.

    Bathrooms, public and private, are for brushing hair, teeth; plucking, picking, pooping, etc. That room is meant for all grooming needs. That’s why you have all your supplies there.

    Why couldn’t she wait until they reached their destination, or home, before informing him that he had an unsightly growth in the nostril area?

    I can’t imagine doing that to my boyfriend. I know damn well he wouldn’t let me. Not that I would. Yuck!

    The dude in your story has no balls and his woman needs to learn the meaning of respect and BOUNDARIES.

    Ewwwwww

    Like

    • Hi Casey!
      So true about public grooming. Some people obviously feel entitled to do whatever they like with the attitude that if you don’t like it, it’s too bad. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned manners?

      You make a great point about respecting boundaries. I suppose it’s difficult for her to respect his boundaries if he doesn’t say anything to stop her. His lack of respect for himself is what gives her power. To me, that’s not only NOT sexy. It’s a complete turn-off.

      eden

      Like

  12. Maybe he wasn’t letting her do it. Maybe she was doing it under orders, because he has directed her to do such jobs. Maybe he was making her do it.

    In any case, plucking nose hairs in public is in bad taste under any circumstance.

    Like

    • Hello Samuel, lovely to see you here.

      Hmm…ok, you look like a mysterious man. Perhaps you know something I don’t know. Let’s say you’re right, and he had given her a clear directive to pull hair from his nose any time she saw it. She was only acting under his orders. Do you really think a man would ever say that? If I were a betting woman, I’d have to bet against it.

      Bad taste? No argument there.

      Thanks for your comment,
      eden

      Like

  13. If he grew balls, she’d just have another
    place to pluck, and you really don’t want to see that on the bus.

    Like

  14. Honey! Don’t you know that nothing says “I love You” like yanking a bunch of nose hairs out of your lover! ROFL

    Like

  15. Jason Darrick

    I wonder what would have happened if he had some sauce on his face? Would she have gotten a napkin out and licked it before wiping away the offence? I agree, dude needs a pair. Now, does my hair make my face look puffy?

    Like

    • Ha! Jason,
      Wiping something from a man’s face in public as if he were a child is degrading, though it still pales in comparison to actually pulling out a piece of hair that is physically attached to his body.

      Why this man just sat there and took it – I’ll never know.

      You always look good when you visit me, no worries, hon,

      eden

      Like

  16. You got some real mileage out of this post, Eden!

    Like

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